The It Girl by Katy Birchall

Author:Katy Birchall
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Aladdin
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

15.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Camels

Greetings, my only child!

Looking forward to seeing you very soon during break. I’ve missed you!

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I’ve sold you to a lovely fellow here for the excellent price of three camels. Now, I know that seems quite low, and my colleague has managed to wrangle six for his daughter, but the camels I’m looking at are of much better breeding, so they’re really worth triple his.

Hope all is well, darling!

Mom xxx

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Camels

Hi, Mom,

Thanks for sending me an e-mail purely to let me know how many camels I’m worth.

I am saving e-mails like this one in a special file for when I’m admitted to a mental institution.

Love, me xxx

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Camels

Good for you, darling!

Now, tell me your gossip—have you got a date for the dance yet? I bet the boys are falling over themselves.

Mom xxx

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Camels

Mom, this is me we’re talking about remember? You seem to have me confused with someone who is popular. No, I don’t have a date to the dance yet. Who on earth would I go with?

Please do not suggest Dog.

Love, me xxx

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Stop this negativity

What about that lovely boy you mentioned on the phone? Boursin or something.

Mom xxx

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Stop this negativity

Mom. Boursin is a CHEESE.

His name is Brendan. And he’s the most popular and best-looking guy in school. So he won’t be taking me.

Love, me xxx

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Stop this negativity

Why not?

I thought you said you had made some new friends this semester. So you are popular too.

Is he going with someone else?

Mom xxx

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Stop this negativity

Well, no actually. He hasn’t actually asked Sophie yet as far as I know. But I’m sure he will. It makes sense that they would go together.

But he did call me smart yesterday. Could you imagine? If he took me to the dance, everyone would like me . . . and Jess and Danny would be pretty excited. It would definitely solve all my problems!

But it’s never going to happen, Mom.

Thanks anyway.

Love, me xxx

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Excuse you, young lady

You’re not getting out of it that easily, miss. He called you SMART. Boys like smart girls. They have something to talk about with them.

Maybe the reason he hasn’t asked this Sophie is because he wants to ask YOU. Hmm? Have you thought of it that way? You work your magic, darling—you may get your bookish nature from your father, but you get your flair from me. It’s an irresistible combination.

See you at break. I’m going to bring you back a wonderful present—and don’t worry, it won’t be a mug like last time.

Mom xxx

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Excuse you, young lady

Mom. Let’s just clarify. You brought me back a MONKEY SKULL.

Just because it had a handle glued to it does NOT make it a mug. I don’t care what that guy at the stall told you.

Please don’t bring anything weird back for me. This year has already been disturbing enough.

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